Friday, July 18, 2008
Smother=Mother
My Mom is in town and I feel like she is demanding and smothering. We have been having this conversation for about ten years now. It is constantly an issue every time I see her. This time it is worse because my 2 nieces and my brother are in town. She expects me to keep the 2 girls. It is WAY to much. I've been communicating this to her for about 2 days now and we just argue and she says I'm selfish, I've tried to compromise. I feel she is also completely over-indulgent. I've been praying and this and trying to gain wisdom. Today it just become too much and I broke down/blew up and told her that they all needed to leave my house and that I cannot see them. I am overwhelmed, stressed out and frustrated. I want to enjoy my time with them, not be so overwhelmed that I can't even function. Any incite?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Change!
Change is always happened. It can be good, bad, and extremely overwhelming! My Mom, niece, and brother are in town for 2 weeks and it is overwhelming me. It is hard when you have your routine and then you can't do it! it is hard when you are used to spending you schedule with one other person and you cannot do what you want, when you want. I guess maybe it is good because then it will test the relationship you have with the other person, but call me selfish, all I want to do is hang out with them! and most of all I don't want anything to get ruined! I've already had a "psycho" moment, but was reassured that it was normal and OK! I really hope everything is. It is definitly testing my patiences! If you think of me today, say a little prayer!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Tag you are it...thanks to Bree!
If you just hit my blog... YOU are NEXT... Tag! You're it!!!
10 years ago I was: 16, summer of my first kiss, Europe for 3 weeks, and I can drive! 5 years ago I was: 21, the summer before my senior year. My friend Lauren came and stayed for a month! 1 year ago I was: 25, looking for teaching job, waitressing! 5 things on my to do list today: 5 snacks I enjoy: If I were a billionaire I would: 6 people I want to have lunch with tomorrow: Jesus, Brooke, my Mom, Sarah, Bonny, and my Dad!
5 places I have lived:
- Ridgebury, NY
- Middlebury, CT
- London, England
- Abilene, TX
- Stuart, FL
5 jobs I have had:
- Waitress at Perini Ranch
- The world's best Babysitter
- Graduate Assistant
- Life Guard
- HS English Teacher!!
Monday, June 30, 2008
To BE, or not to BE! We will see!
Relationship are interesting! How can you know if it is going to be a good one or not...lasting or short lived? I find this intimating. My past experience have left a more bitter than sweet taste in my mouth and I am hesitant. Do I ruin it for my future? I am really just trying to just "be". Being is hard though, open mind is hard too. I am trying to be honest with myself and with them. So far so good. Excited, yet scared. I am thankful for patiences.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Whatever is excellent!
I have been thinking a lot about spirituality lately. It seems that for a week now it keeps coming up in conversation. It has also been on my heart and mind. What I believe and and how I show it. Now I don't want you to think religion or "being religious" is what is on my heart, spirituality and religion are not interchangeable, but can correlate.
I grew up in a very religious and spiritual house. I think of religion as going to church and basically "following through with the motions" that correlate with the church's belief system. I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Actually, I find it comforting and if it wasn't for being "religious" , I would not be where I am today. Being spiritual is taking your beliefs and making them your own and making then know.
I feel that this year I have taken big strides in becoming spiritual. I think before this year I was just religious. Let me explain. My parents are very spiritual, they have their beliefs and they stick to them like no other and verbalize them often.Basically they ALWAYS walk the talk! When growing up, because they were so religious, I was sheltered (not extreme, happy medium), and in return became very naive (actually I am thankful). During my late teen and until a year ago I of course became exposed and I felt tremendous guilt if I did something against what they genuinely believed truth. During these years I was still religious, but was I spiritual? No. Every time I was at church or at a church function I felt a stir, but the things that I where doing were by no means excellent or consistent. My spirituality was not formed, but it was beginning to. I was/am beginning to formulate what I am convicted of and act out on them. I feel that your spirituality only grows and becomes stronger when you are committed to something. For me becoming religious has helped.
Church, Christian music, and community has given me so much encouragement and support. I think of spirituality as pure and shiny. I want to be that. All week I felt that God has been whispering little words to me because in my conversations and in my heart I keep thinking words like truth, excellent, and most of all pure.
Today when I woke up these words were just running through my head. Then I thought, I think I've heard these in the bible. sure enough!
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.
When it comes down to it, this is what spiritually is to me. I want these things, I crave these things, I want to shine in these things! Most of all, I want them for you! don't settle for anything beneath excellent!
I grew up in a very religious and spiritual house. I think of religion as going to church and basically "following through with the motions" that correlate with the church's belief system. I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. Actually, I find it comforting and if it wasn't for being "religious" , I would not be where I am today. Being spiritual is taking your beliefs and making them your own and making then know.
I feel that this year I have taken big strides in becoming spiritual. I think before this year I was just religious. Let me explain. My parents are very spiritual, they have their beliefs and they stick to them like no other and verbalize them often.Basically they ALWAYS walk the talk! When growing up, because they were so religious, I was sheltered (not extreme, happy medium), and in return became very naive (actually I am thankful). During my late teen and until a year ago I of course became exposed and I felt tremendous guilt if I did something against what they genuinely believed truth. During these years I was still religious, but was I spiritual? No. Every time I was at church or at a church function I felt a stir, but the things that I where doing were by no means excellent or consistent. My spirituality was not formed, but it was beginning to. I was/am beginning to formulate what I am convicted of and act out on them. I feel that your spirituality only grows and becomes stronger when you are committed to something. For me becoming religious has helped.
Church, Christian music, and community has given me so much encouragement and support. I think of spirituality as pure and shiny. I want to be that. All week I felt that God has been whispering little words to me because in my conversations and in my heart I keep thinking words like truth, excellent, and most of all pure.
Today when I woke up these words were just running through my head. Then I thought, I think I've heard these in the bible. sure enough!
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.
When it comes down to it, this is what spiritually is to me. I want these things, I crave these things, I want to shine in these things! Most of all, I want them for you! don't settle for anything beneath excellent!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Spit!
Just to let you know....when someone spits out their car window it does come flying back right onto the windshield of the car behind them......please refrain for spitting out your car while driving high speeds! Some of us would greatly appreciate it :o)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Swimming
School is almost out and I need something to occupy my time! Well today I swam at 5:30 (too early!) It was a Master's swim team. I found in my town. I joined. Okay, well lets just say I was very excited to do this and maybe a little nervous. I went out a bought a new suit and goggles. I am all pumped up to do this! Haha my swimming is so BAD! I do not have any technique!! The coach was so nice though! All of my strokes were not correct and now swimming is a lot harder than it was before. I am not giving up! I am going to go again tomorrow! I joint because I want to train for a triathlon. That is my goal. I am sticking to it!
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